Better conversations start here
Thanks for joining me at the SHE communication workshop.
Here are a few reminders and questions to help you keep the conversations going, at work and beyond.
Five levels to notice
5. Cliché conversation
“How has your day been?”
Familiar small talk helps us make contact.
4. Facts and information
“Our team communicates through WhatsApp.”
We share information without necessarily revealing our views or feelings.
3. Ideas and judgements
“I think we rely too much on messages in our department.”
We share how we see things, and risk someone disagreeing.
2. Feelings
“I feel anxious when my manager emails me a task without the context I’d get in a call.”
We reveal how something affects us.
1. Peak communication
“When you email me a task without context, I worry I’ll get it wrong. I’ve held back from asking because I don’t want you to think I’m incapable. Could we talk it through?”
We speak openly about what is really happening for us, and respond to each other with honesty and an effort to understand. The response matters as much as the disclosure.
We can move up and down these levels within one conversation. The topic alone doesn’t determine how personal it becomes. Trust, context and how the other person responds all matter.
There is no requirement to reach the top. You choose what you share.
Adapted from John Powell’s five levels of communication.
If you manage a team, use your one-to-ones to understand how people are experiencing their work. Choose one or two questions and give them time to answer.
What’s taking more effort than I might realise?
Where would more context or clarity from me help?
Is there anything you’ve agreed to that you’re concerned about delivering?
When have I made it easier or harder for you to speak up?
Is there something you see differently from me that we haven’t discussed?
What could I do differently to support you?
You don’t need to ask all six. Follow the answer, ask for an example and agree what needs to happen next.
Better conversations in your one-to-ones
Let them finish.
Notice when you’re preparing your response instead of listening.
Get curious before explaining yourself.
Try: “Can you give me an example?” or “What impact is that having?”
Check your interpretation.
Try: “So what you need from me is… Have I got that right?” Different experiences, languages and expectations can shape what we hear.
Ask before offering advice.
Try: “Would you like me to listen, or help you think through what to do?”
Follow through.
Agree what you’ll do and when you’ll come back to it. If you can’t change something, explain why.
Give someone room to answer
If you want honesty, notice your response
Think about the last time someone disagreed with you or admitted a mistake.
How did you respond? What might that have taught them about being honest with you next time?
Making time for a conversation helps. What you do with the answer matters too.
Try one thing this week
Choose one conversation you’ve been postponing or rushing through.
Give it your full attention. Ask one better question. Leave enough space to hear the answer.
Afterwards, notice what changed.
About Tara
I’m Tara Alvarez Garcia, leadership coach and founder of TYS Coaching.
Before coaching full-time, I spent over 15 years in international marketing and leadership roles, including in high-pressure, fast-moving sectors. Today I work with leaders and teams to help them communicate clearly, handle pressure well and build high performance without losing trust or humanity along the way.
Let’s keep talking
If there’s a conversation you’re struggling with, or you’d like your team to communicate more openly and clearly, I can help through one-to-one coaching and facilitated workshops.